}); SavannaBrooke.com: 30 Lessons I've Learned Before 30


30 Lessons I've Learned Before 30

 So. Happy. I'm. Thirty... Shit. 30 trips around the sun. Kinda boggles my mind. Everyone always says your 30's are the best. Let's hope so cause so far my 20's have been full of all kinds of hard lessons. I know I have so much more learning and growing to do but somehow 30 just feels like a whole new life. It feels like I finally get a brand new start and I'm scared but very excited for it...

These balloons just cracked me up so I had to get them. I'm actually super excited for this next decade of 30's. This year I'm looking forward to bettering myself, choosing me more, setting boundaries and attracting all the beautiful things that are coming my way. Until then, here's what I've learned so far...

1. Society’s timeline DOESN’T MATTER. For so long I was stuck on the idea that I had to get married at a certain age and have a child at a certain time and buy a house and have a good job and do all the things my peers were doing at that time and bla bla bla. F THAT! I ended up living for everyone else and losing myself. Focus ONLY on your life. Not what they’re doing. Everyone’s life is different and that means timelines aren’t going to be the same. All that does is give me anxiety and pressure that I definitely do not need anymore of.

2. You’re not stuck in a box. Yes, I pride myself on being a Taurus and an enneagram 9 but putting a label on ourselves sometimes means we’re not willing (subconsciously) to be anything but those things. You can be whoever you want to be. If you don’t want to be an enneagram 9, then take on the traits of a different number. Take pieces of people who inspire you and create the best version of yourself. We’re always growing and changing.

3. If you’re unhappy, change it. You can leave situations, places, people, whatever at anytime you need to! You aren’t stuck. I promise.

4. The people surrounding you now, may not be there in a few years... and that’s ok. I’ve lost many friends over the years and I’ve come to realize that it has nothing to do with me. If they were for me, they would be here with me now but sometimes people are removed from our lives by force because we’re not willing to see that they aren’t good for us. To me, that’s so comforting. God has my back.

5. Self-care isn’t just "treating yo-self" Although, that's lots of fun too. Loving yourself means you aren’t willing to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. You know what and who's best for you. It means you are able to stick up for yourself and your beliefs and not apologize for it. It means you nurture your body and thank God for the body you were given and you give yourself grace when you need it.

6. Getting upset or angry over little things just isn’t worth your energy. I know it’s easy to get annoyed when your child spills something or says something they shouldn’t say but I can honestly say after I have released getting upset over those little things, I’ve become so much happier and in turn, my kids are happier. Focus on the fact that your children aren’t going to be this little forever and one day you’re going to miss them spilling their juice on the floor.

7. What you consume, consumes you. You are what you read, watch, surround yourself with. Nurturing your body is one thing but nurturing your mind and soul are just as important.

8. Be present with your kids and laugh... a lot. Life is far too short to be taken so seriously and to be concerned about my kid turning into a serial killer in the future. (haha... but seriously) When we do that, we miss what’s right in front of us. Right now, I have a 3- and 6-year-old with very unique and fun personalities. I found myself so caught up in worrying about their futures that I forgot they’re little humans RIGHT NOW. Pay attention to that and love them as they are now. Let them have FUN and be right there having fun with them. 

9. Hurting people hurt people. I don't think I have any enemies (not real sure haha) but having this blog has definitely opened me up to a world of criticism. I've only had a few rude comments over the years and at first they hurt pretty bad but I quickly learned that what they're saying about me or my house has nothing to do with me. It's their own insecurities and sadness they're projecting onto me because I give them the space to do it. Now when I get a rude comment I look at it, see if there's any truth to it and if there isn't I move on and wish them happiness. Let that ish gooooo!!! 

10. Comparing yourself to others dims the unique light that only you have. YOU are someone’s comparison. Someone is looking at you saying “man I wish I had what she has”. Be grateful for the unique life you were given.  Focus on you because you and your life are all that matters.

11. You never know who’s watching. You follow and watch people all day long and they don’t know it. You don’t know it either but they’re doing the same to you. Show up. Even if you think no one is watching because guess what, they are. You’re inspiring.

12. Toxic positivity is just that, TOXIC. We live in a world where everyone shares the good on social media. I'm guilty of it too but it's not realistic. It's ok to struggle! It's ok to not be happy. It's ok to let your kids see you sad. Pretending to be happy all the time and hiding your emotions is just not real life! I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I started thinking that I was having a streak of bad luck recently because I wasn't positive enough and therefore, wasn't attracting good into my life. That's so far from the truth! Grief is ok. Crying is ok. It's ok not to be ok!! Let's teach our kids that their feelings are valid so they don't grow up masking them because they're afraid to show real emotion. 

13. Saying no is a complete sentence. This is true, but I'm too nice to just say "no" and be done with it LOL but really, if you don't want to do something... Please, for the love, say no (however you need to). Your friends and family will still be there after and you’ll thank yourself later. I promise.

14. Travel. I grew up traveling and haven’t done it in a long time. I’m currently at the beach and I have forgotten how much I absolutely love it. I love everything from packing to planning to just not knowing exactly where I am. It’s so freeing. I also forgot how much inspiration I bring home after traveling. It’s a necessity for me and something I will be doing so much more of.

15. Surround yourself with beauty. Beauty in your home, your surroundings, your words, fill all your senses with beauty and try to find it in every little thing.

16. Don't be a serial learner. I found myself for so long wanting to do so many things and holding myself back because I didn't think I knew enough to do it right. There is never a perfect time to start something and you will never know everything. Just START and learn as you go. You can look back in 5 years and be thankful you started or wish you had started. You won't ever regret starting.

17. Don’t worry til it’s time to worry. Someone told me this once and it’s just stuck with me.  Worrying does nothing except make you go through an experience twice. Why not just hope for the best and just ride through life with a positive mindset? Instead of thinking something bad could happen... say: "What if something great happens?!" It’s way more fun that way.

18. Be thankful every single day for the life you were given. Like I said before, being sad is ok. Year 29 for me was most definitely my worst year and many of these lessons came out of that year. I guess I had some catching up to do?! I lost so many family members, got divorced, got in some sticky situations… And yes, It's definitely brought me down. But I still try to thank God everyday for what I’ve been given, even when I'm sad because I know it could be so much worse. No, there’s no positives to family members dying but I can most definitely be thankful for the time I had with each of them.

19. Talk to yourself the way you talk to others. This is so important to me. I would never go up to someone and say “wow you look horrible today” (haha) so why would I ever say it to myself?!

20. When someone compliments you or wants to do something for you, thank them and move tf on. Confidence is the most attractive trait to me and something I try to exude so when someone compliments me, it does nothing for me or them to argue and try to bring myself down to minimize what they're saying to me. On that same idea, when someone wants to give you a gift or do something nice for you, let them! They chose to do it because they wanted to. It's so rude to argue. So say thank you! They'll appreciate that so much more than you arguing with them to please not do something they really want to do for you. 

21. Call your aunt, grandpa, mom, friend, cousin. There’s nothing else to say about this one. Just Nike it.

22. Spend quality time with the people you love. You really never know when it's going to be the last time. Before my grandma died, I had spent a whole day with her. Normally I was always in a hurry. I would go visit my grandparents and rush out of there because I had so much to do when in turn, all they had to do that day was spend time with me and my kids. One day I was at my grandparents and was thinking about all the things I needed to do. Something in my head told me to slow down and sit with my grandma. I stayed there for hours holding her hand and laughing with her. Little did I know, that would be the last time I got to hold her hand.

23. Know your worth and never settle. Don’t ever settle for something or someone just because you feel like you’re supposed to or because it’s accessible at the moment or because you're lonely. Know who you are, exactly what you want, and be patient. What you want does exist. Be patient (and present) until you find it.

24. People make time for who they really want to make time for. This one hurts a little but it's true. If someone is ignoring you or making excuses for why they can’t hang out, please don’t waste your time. They just don’t want to hang out with you! Hard to hear but it’s that simple and why would you want to hang out with someone who doesn’t want to hang out with you?! Love yourself more, you beautiful human!!

25. Being late is not admirable. I’ll admit, I've been late many times and I’m sometimes a couple minutes late to work because I have two little boys who like to argue with everything I tell them to do but wasting someone else’s time is just not cool. The world doesn’t revolve around your daily schedule. If you’re going to be late, at least send a message beforehand so the other person can plan accordingly and maybe get something done that they’ve been needing to get done in that time instead of waiting on you to show up turning said time into a complete waste. Sorry, this one really fires me up hahaha

26. Love everyone but trust no one. I’ll always be kind to you and show love but I’ve learned that you really gotta be careful these days. I don't even trust my neighbors! It may sound bad but I'm just always (inwardly) weary of people. Don't give someone your all right away. Get to know who they really are. You may be surprised.

27. Speak what you want or need out into the world. Speak it to yourself, write it down, even tell your friends! Be open to people about what you need or want. You'll be surprised at how many times someone has exactly what you're looking for or knows how to help you achieve it. It's happened to me time and time again. 

28. Don’t ignore red flags or bad vibes. Too many times I’ve ignored the red flags and in the end I get hurt. I know this game and I’m done playing it.

29. No one cares if your house is messy. Seriously... No. One. Cares. I know people know me as someone who shares pretty house pictures (haha) but those are just pictures! One small corner. Before I take those pictures, I shove everything I don't want in the picture into another corner! LOL I used to be such a freak about my house and what it looked like all the time to the point that I saw those curated instagram pictures of peoples houses as real life and my house should be spotless at all times (this was pre kids of course) and it took me going to someone elses "messy" house and not giving a shit what it looked like to understand that the people that come to my house don't care about my house. They care about me. My house is not perfect. It's filtered and lighted and cleaned up on the internet. Not in real life. Don't believe everything that you see! 

30. Love and nurture yourself in all stages of life. I'll never be a size 2. I’m a curvy girl and I absolutely embrace it. This body has grown two full humans. It holds my heart and my mind. It gives me space to feel all the lovely things in life. It’s beautiful and its mine and I have to give it good things to show it how much I love and appreciate it. You may want to lose a few lbs but your body is housing all of you right now just the way it is. Love it, because it loves you.

Learning these lessons weren't easy, but they've played a huge part in who I am today and I'm so thankful for the journey I've been on. I am happy. I love my life and my life loves me.

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